🔗 Share this article

Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the comfort zone in everyday journalism, and publications remain attentive to significant toilet tales and milestones, notably connected to soccer. It was quite amusing to find out that a prominent writer a famous broadcaster possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs at his home. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who took the rest room somewhat too seriously, and needed rescuing from an empty Oakwell stadium following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, the Italian striker popped into a local college to access the restrooms back in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a student told local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking through the school as if he owned it.”

The Toilet Resignation

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager after a brief chat within a restroom stall together with Football Association official David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback against Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. According to Davies' personal account, his private Football Association notes, he entered the drenched troubled England locker room immediately after the match, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams “fired up”, the two stars urging for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies discovered him collapsed – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – within the changing area's edge, saying quietly: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Collaring Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate [for a chat] that was private?” stated Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The toilet cubicles. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past occurred in the ancient loos of a venue scheduled for destruction. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I shut the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, eventually revealing he viewed his stint as England manager “empty”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's an extremely challenging position.” Football in England has advanced considerably in the quarter of a century since. Regardless of improvement or decline, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers have long disappeared, whereas a German currently occupies in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“We remained in an extended queue, clad merely in our briefs. We represented Europe's top officials, elite athletes, role models, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina inspected us completely with a freezing stare. Silent and observant” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Since you've opened the budget and distributed some merchandise, I've opted to write and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the school playground with kids he expected would overpower him. This masochistic tendency must account for his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|